I was depressed
为此我十分消沉
and anxious about it,
十分焦急
I was crying over it.
我时常为之哭泣
I was feeling like such a failure.
我感到自己太失败了
It was all I could think or talk (and complain) about.
我满脑子里想的,口中说(抱怨)的都是这件事
As soon as I got home,
我一回到家
I made a list:
就做了一个清单
"Things that I think will change
生活中会有什么样的变化
if I get my dream job".
如果我得到了我梦中的工作
It ended up being such a long list.
最后,我列出了一张非常长的清单
I was basically blaming all of life's problems,
基本上我就是在抱怨生活中的难题
big and small
有大有小
on not having this particular job.
似乎它们都是因为我没有得到那份工作才产生的
Not only that,
不仅如此
but I was also putting things "on hold"
我还搁置了许多事情
until after I got this job
一定要等到自己得到那份工作才愿意做
for no good reason.
并没有什么正当的理由
Like I needed a particular job title
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