我知道快乐之道在于不要太渴求表扬,不需要别人拍拍你的肩。我知道这点。我自己应该成为自身满足感、快乐感的源头;我应该明白自己已经做得很好了,而不需依赖别人的看法。
I’m sure that one reason that I went to law school was because it was clear to me what I would need to do to win praise. I wrote my papers, I got my note published, I became editor-in-chief of the Yale Law Journal, I clerked for Justice Sandra Day O’Connor. These were big gold stars, and they were precious to me.
我确信我去学法律的理由之一是我得为赢得表扬做点什么,这一点对我来说再明确不过了。我写论文,出版笔记,我成为《耶鲁法律期刊》的首席编辑,我为奥康纳法官办事。这些都是大大的金色星星,它们对我来说很珍贵。
So I give myself an enormous gold star for putting those law-related gold stars aside to start over again as a writer. I love my work, and that’s hugely satisfying. But I still crave praise – and because the closest and easiest source would be the Big Man, I get frustrated when he won’t give it to me,which he doesn’t. Yes, I know that’s not his job, and that I shouldn’t depend on him for it. Like I said, I’m working on not needing it.
所以当我将和法律有关的金色星星放在一旁,开始作家生涯时我给自己颁了一个巨大的金色星星。我热爱自己的工作,它带给我极大的满足感。但我还是渴求得到表扬——因为最亲密、最简单的来源是大男人,所以他不夸奖我时我感到很沮丧。他的确没有。是的,我知道这不是必须做的,也知道我不应该依靠他来得到表扬。正如我说过的,我正为此而努力。
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