这样的兴趣是发自内心的,而不是虚假的, 这是让谈话出彩的必要条件。如果你对他人不敢兴趣,为什么要和他/她说话呢?去和你真正想谈话的人说话。生活苦短,不要把它浪费在你不喜欢的事情上。
2. Focus on the positives.
关注正能量
Which means rather than talk about past grievances, opt for a discussion of future goals. Rather than talk about the coffee that spilled on your table this morning, talk about that movie you are looking forward to watch later in the evening. It’s okay to talk about “negative” topics (read: topics that trigger negative emotions) once in a while, but only when you feel it is okay with the other party and when it has a specific purpose (e.g., to get to know the other person better or to bond with the person).
也就是说与其谈论过去的悲伤,不如去讨论未来的目标。与其谈论今天早晨洒在你桌子上的咖啡,不如谈论一下晚上你想看的电影。偶尔谈论一下“负面”话题(能产生负面情绪的话题)也是可以的, 但最好是当你觉得对方也能接受并且有特定目的时(比如,更好地了解对方或和对方建立联系)。
3. Converse, not debate (or argue).
交谈而不是辩论(争吵)
A conversation should be a platform where opinions are aired, not a battle ground to pit one’s stance against another. Be ready to chat, discuss, and trash out ideas, but do so amiably. There’s no need to have a conclusion or agreement point in every discussion; if a convergence has to be met with everything that is mooted, the conversation would be very draining. Allow for things to be left open-ended if a common point can’t be achieved.
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