There is no one right form of parents-children dynamics. What's over-protection in one culture may be the norm in another. And these things evolve with time as well. While US parents are obliged to raise their children to the age of 18 and see them through college, their Chinese equivalents take it upon themselves to take care of further needs, which include buying an apartment, finding a spouse and taking care of the grandchildren. That's why the 75-year-old Henan woman took on the ad-hoc job of a street performer, a notion possibly alien to her for most of her life. She did this so she could afford a daughter-in-law. She must have thought it was her responsibility to ensure her son was financially capable of getting married.
What if there is no financial issue involved and her son simply does not want to walk down the aisle with anyone? Any Chinese beyond the age of 25 who is not married or does not have a regular date may face the experience of constant nagging from their parents.
In the old days, you were not supposed to have a date while in college because that would interfere with your study. But once out of college you were supposed to find the right person and start a family, possibly within a year or two.
For whatever reasons young people in China are pushing back the age of marriage either out of choice or out of necessity. Some want to experiment with more possibilities, while others are simply intimidated by the urban dating scene or are holding out for the right person to appear. The pressure these people's parents apply can be suffocating. And in turn, their parents have to field nonstop hectoring from their friends and neighbors: "Is your son or daughter married yet? When is he or she getting married?"
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2020-09-15
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