2.不要否认或掩饰他们的经历。
Platitudes like "He's in a better place now" or "There's a reason for everything" are easy to fall back on, but they've all been heard before, and even worse, they can be pretty insulting if you think about how you'd like to hear them if you were suffering.
讲一些诸如"他现在在一个更好的地方"或"万事皆有原因"这样的话并没有什么用,这些话已经听过了,更糟的是,这些话可能会很侮辱人,想象一下如果你是遭遇不幸的那位,你听了会作何感想。
Instead, focus on letting them know how you feel, and that you're there with them. Try "I'm always just a phone call away" or "I wish I had the right words, but please know I care."
相反,重点是让他们明白你的感觉,知道你就在身边。尝试着这样说:"随时给我打个电话"或"我希望我没说错话,但请知道我很在乎你"。
And of course, if you haven't had the same experience as them, don't tell them you know how they feel because you don't.
当然,如果你没有与他们相同的经验,不要告诉他们你明白他们的感觉,因为你根本不了解。
Of course, these won't work in every situation, but if you get nothing else from it, take these two pointers to hear the next time someone close to you is struggling or suffering and you'd like to help.
当然,这不会适合每一种情况。但如果你没有别的办法,下次你亲近的人遇到困难或不幸,你就可以试试这两个建议来帮助他们。
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