缺乏安全感吗?这真的要怪你父母_公共英语阅读理解

缺乏安全感吗?这真的要怪你父母

“如果你能安全地依恋某人，那非常好，因为你会觉得，在心情不好的时候，你可以向某人寻求帮助，而且觉得你也可以帮助别人，”纽约社会研究新学院依恋研究中心(Center for Attachment Research at the New School for Social Research)联合主任米里林·斯蒂尔(Miriam Steele)说。

It’s not so great if you are one of the 40 percent to 50 percent of babies who, a meta-analysis of research indicates, are insecurely attached because their early experiences were suboptimal (their caregivers were distracted, overbearing, dismissive, unreliable, absent or perhaps threatening). “Then you have to earn your security,” Dr. Steele said, by later forming secure attachments that help you override your flawed internal working model.

一项综合分析表明，40%到50%的婴儿在这方面的状况不佳，具有不安全的依恋模式，因为他们的早期经历不理想（看护者心不在焉、霸道专横、不上心、不可靠、不在场，或者可能进行了胁迫）。“这样你就必须努力去争取获得安全感，”斯蒂尔说，晚一些时候形成的安全依恋风格，可以帮助你改写有缺陷的内在运作模式。

Given that the divorce rate is also 40 percent to 50 percent, it would seem that this is not an easy task. Indeed, researchers said, people who have insecure attachment models tend to be drawn to those who fit their expectations, even if they are treated badly. They may subconsciously act in ways that elicit insensitive, unreliable or abusive behavior, whatever is most familiar. Or they may flee secure attachments because they feel unfamiliar.