If you do make a comment on her physical appearance, the golden rule is to keep it general. ‘You look beautiful,’ to your date, NOT ‘you have a very sexy neck.’ No matter how sexy her neck is, pointing out one hyperspecific area of her body can feel gross and objectifying.
如果你非要称赞人家的外表,黄金法则就是,不要说得太具体,用“你真漂亮”代替“你的脖子很性感”,就算人家的脖子再性感,都不要具体指出来,否则会让人感觉恶心并有物化对方之嫌。
Don’t be abrasive or grudging
别一副不情不愿的样子
Sadly many men adopt a slightly hostile or abrasive tone when they compliment women. It’s another defence mechanism that you have to let go of.
可悲的是,很多直男在赞美女性的时候总是带着些许敌意或者不情愿的语气,这其实是心理防御机制在搞鬼。
Remember, the purpose of a compliment is to make somebody feel better about themselves. Do it with a smile on your face and in a pleasant tone: don’t say it as if you had a gun to your head.
记住,赞美是为了让对方自我感觉更良好,脸上带笑、语气愉快是最好的,不要给人不情不愿的感觉。
People don’t notice what you’re saying as much as the tone you’re saying it in, so a good compliment is completely wasted if it’s delivered poorly.
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