弗吉尼亚大学全美婚姻项目负责人布拉德福德·威尔科特斯指出,有过太多严肃的两性关系会带来离婚、婚姻质量降低的风险。这可能是因为有过较多惨痛分手经历的人可能会将现任伴侣与前任进行不利比较。威尔科特斯博士表示,早些把问题摆在台面上会有所帮助。人们不愿直截了当地谈论过去,还会对过去的事产生嫉妒或苛责的情绪。接受另一半在走入这段关系前是有"历史"的才是真正能以亲密、富有成效且友爱的方式探讨这些问题的唯一途径。
4. How important is religion? How will we celebrate religious holidays, if at all?
宗教信仰有多么重要?如果有信仰的话,我们将如何庆祝宗教节日?
If two people come from different religious backgrounds, is each going to pursue his or her own religious affiliation? Dr Scuka has worked with couples on encouraging honest discussion around this issue as the executive director of the National Institute of Relationship Enhancement. What is more, spouses are especially likely to experience conflict over religious traditions when children are added to the mix, according to Dr Wilcox. If the couple decide to have children, they must ask how the children's religious education will be handled. It is better to have a plan, he said.
如果两人的宗教信仰不同,是否要继续追求各自的宗教信仰?斯库卡博士是全美关系增进研究所首席执行官,他为一些情侣提供咨询时鼓励他们坦率地讨论宗教信仰问题。此外,他表示,涉及到孩子的时候,双方尤其可能因宗教传统问题产生冲突。若两人决定要孩子,则须探讨如何处理孩子的宗教教育问题,最好能制定一个计划。
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