7. Can you deal with my doing things without you?
你能否接受我不带你去做某些事吗?
Going into marriage, many people hope to keep their autonomy in certain areas of their life at the same time they are building a partnership with their spouse, according to Seth Eisenberg, the president of Pairs (Practical Application of Intimate Relationship Skills). This means they may be unwilling to share hobbies or friends, and this can lead to tension and feelings of rejection if it isn't discussed. Couples may also have different expectations as to what "privacy" means, added Dr Klein, and that should be discussed, too. Dr Wilcox suggested asking your partner when he or she most needs to be alone.
"亲密关系技能实际应用"总裁塞斯·艾森伯格表示,步入婚姻时,许多人都希望在与伴侣建立伙伴关系的同时,也能在生活中的某些领域保持自己的独立。这意味着他们也许不愿与对方分享自己的业余爱好或朋友,若未就此进行探讨,则会导致对方产生被排斥的感觉,而使两人关系紧张。克莱恩博士表示,双方对"隐私"所指内容的期望值也可能不尽相同,因此也应加以讨论。威尔科特斯博士建议,问问你的伴侣什么时候最需要独处。
8.Do we like each other's parents?
我们喜欢彼此的父母吗?
As long as you and your partner present a united front, having a bad relationship with your in-laws can be manageable, Dr Scuka said. But if a spouse is not willing to address the issue with his or her parents, it can bode very poorly for the long-term health of the relationship, he said. At the same time, Dr Pearson said, considering the strengths and weaknesses of your parents can illuminate future patterns of attachment or distancing in your own relationship.
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