These results suggest that men, relative to women, have a particularly hard time being “just friends.” What makes these results particularly interesting is that they were found within particular friendships. This is not just a bit of confirmation for stereotypes about sex-hungry males and naïve females; it is direct proof that two people can experience the exact same relationship in radically different ways. Men seem to see myriad opportunities for romance in their supposedly platonic opposite-sex friendships. The women in these friendships, however, seem to have a completely different orientation—one that is actually platonic.
这些结果说明,相比较女性而言,男性更难做到“只是朋友”。而这些结果是在特定的友谊中得出的,这让调查结果更有意思。这不仅证实了大家对于充满性渴望的男性和天真单纯的女性的固有印象,还直接证明了同一段关系中的两个人可以有着完全不同的感觉。在一段应该是柏拉图式的异性友谊中,男性似乎看到了无数的浪漫可能,而女性的视角则完全不同——就是单纯的柏拉图式关系。
To the outside observer, it seems clear that these vastly different views about the potential for romance in opposite-sex friendships could cause serious complications—and people within opposite-sex relationships agree. In a follow-up study, 249 adults (many of whom were married) were asked to list the positive and negative aspects of being friends with a specific member of the opposite sex. Variables related to romantic attraction were five times more likely to be listed as negative aspects of the friendship than as positive ones.
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