Message number three: don't leave before you leave. I think there's a really deep irony to the fact that actions women are taking -- and I see this all the time -- with the objective of staying in the workforce actually lead to their eventually leaving. Here's what happens: We're all busy. Everyone's busy. A woman's busy. And she starts thinking about having a child, and from the moment she starts thinking about having a child, she starts thinking about making room for that child. "How am I going to fit this into everything else I'm doing?" And literally from that moment, she doesn't raise her hand anymore, she doesn't look for a promotion, she doesn't take on the new project, she doesn't say, "Me. I want to do that." She starts leaning back. The problem is that -- let's say she got pregnant that day, that day -- nine months of pregnancy, three months of maternity leave, six months to catch your breath -- fast-forward two years, more often -- and as I've seen it -- women start thinking about this way earlier -- when they get engaged, when they get married, when they start thinking about trying to have a child, which can take a long time. One woman came to see me about this, and I kind of looked at her -- she looked a little young. And I said, "So are you and your husband thinking about having a baby?" And she said, "Oh no, I'm not married." She didn't even have a boyfriend. I said, "You're thinking about this just way too early."
建议三:在你离开前别放弃。我认为这是一个非常深刻的讽刺。对于女性所做的事而言——我一直目睹类似情况的发生——女性希望留在职场这个目标,往往导致它们最终不得不离开职场。曾发生这样的事:我们都忙;每个人都很忙;作为一个女人也很忙。她开始考虑生小孩。从她开始考虑生小孩的时候起,她开始考虑为孩子准备房间。 “我该如何调整孩子这件事和手头上的其他事呢?” 言下之意,她不再举起她的手,她不寻求提升,她不做新的计划,她不会说,“我,我想做那个。” 她开始退缩。这是个问题。让我们说说她怀孕的那段日子,9个月的怀胎,3个月的产假,6个月来调养休息,快速调整要2年,更寻常的是——正如我看到女性开始过早考虑这事,当她们有约会或者结婚时,当她们开始考虑要小孩,这会花相当长的一段时间。一位女性关于此事来找我, 我看着她,她显得有点年轻。 我说,“那么你和你丈夫考虑要小孩了?” 她说,“哦不,我还没结婚。” 她甚至没有男友。 我说,“你考虑这个太早了吧。”
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