But as illustrated by the 'paint-gate' episode, sometimes it really doesn't work to wait around for consensus to take hold. Sometimes you need to designate a trigger man to execute the final decision. And sometimes─and this is where it gets complicated─we need to assign ourselves that role and simply take over.

但回到我刚刚提的“刷门”事件上，你会发现，有时候想要达成共识，光空等着根本就行不通。有时你需要指派一位“扣动扳机的男人”来作出最终的决定。还有一些时候──这种情况就很复杂了──我们需要自封为这个角色并坦然接受。

In retrospect, I realize I did this a few years ago after our kids were born and I felt strongly that we did not have enough life insurance. For Alejandro it was a nonissue: None of his Uruguayan friends or family have life insurance, which he considered a symptom of Yankee neurosis. Getting insurance for myself was easy enough, but it felt awkward to demand that Alejandro take out a policy on himself. Combine that with the fact that when I can't sleep, I watch those true-crime TV shows that are inevitably about one spouse who knocked off the other for the insurance money.

回忆往事，我发觉自己在几年前就曾这样做过。那是在我们的孩子出生后，我强烈地感到一家人的人寿保险缴得不够多。而对亚历杭德罗来说，这根本就不是个问题：他在乌拉圭的家人朋友统统都没有人寿保险，所以在他看来，这完全是美国佬的神经质症状。要我为自己买一份保险是小事一桩，但如果要求亚历杭德罗也这么做会让我觉得尴尬为难。还有，那就是我在睡不着的时候会看一些根据真人真事拍的犯罪电视节目，那里面必然会上演这样的剧情：夫妻中的一方为了吞掉配偶的保险金而出手干掉对方。

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