婚姻生活少提建议_BEC初级作文_BEC初级-查字典英语网

婚姻生活少提建议

但难就难在：我们的配偶老是觉得我们是在故意触碰他们的错误──-所以即使是好心的建议也会被他们当成批评。当我们一次次提出相同的建议时，他们还会感到厌烦。

Since spouses know each other so well, they think they know exactly what the other needs to do. 'It's a mind-reading problem,' says Dr. Ranieri. 'We tend to quickstep into giving advice, leaving out the important intermediate step of finding out more about what is going on.'

由于夫妻二人是如此了解对方，所以他们觉得自己非常清楚另一半需要些什么。拉涅利说：“这是一个读心术问题。我们一般都会直接快进到提建议的那一步，而忽视漏掉了重要的中间步骤──-进一步弄清到底发生了什么。”

One way to give better advice is to first make sure your spouse actually wants your help. You can do this by asking─a novel idea!─'Would you like some ideas on that?'

给出更好建议的一个途径是先确定你的伴侣真的想要你的帮助。你可以通过发问了解这一点──-多新奇的一个主意！──-“你愿意听听我对那件事的想法吗？”

Consider what Dr. Lawrence, of the University of Iowa, calls the Platinum Rule: 'Do unto others as they would have you do unto them.' In other words, stop and listen. Sometimes listening can be even more effective than giving advice. 'If you allow someone the time to talk something through, that can help them determine what advice to give themselves,' says Dr. Ranieri.