巴尔的摩(Baltimore)的萨拉・魏因戈特(Sara Weingot)在她6岁的儿子犯错后就运用过这个技巧,当时她儿子在乘坐面包车出游时踢推其他两个孩子的儿童加高座椅。之后她对儿子说,她希望以后绝对不要再发生这种情况,然后她满怀同情地听儿子解释说他被其他两个孩子的汽车座椅挤得太紧。
Ms. Weingot gave him a choice between staying home with a babysitter next time and finding another solution. He made a list from 'get a better car' to taking turns with his siblings in more comfortable seats, an idea that worked, Ms. Weingot says.
魏因戈特让他选择下次和保姆一起待在家里还是寻找另一种解决方案。魏因戈特说,他列出了一些方案,其中包括“买一辆更好的车”,还有和兄弟姐妹轮流坐更舒服的座椅。后一种方案得到了采纳。
Apologizing can help repair a relationship after an outburst, says Ms. Barnhill, the author. She took her daughter aside in her teens and apologized for an explosive incident a few years earlier. 'I have this memory of being in your face and yelling at you. I am so sorry, sweet girl,' Ms. Barnhill says she told her.
前文提到的作者巴恩希尔说,在发脾气之后道歉有助于修复亲子关系。巴恩希尔在女儿十几岁时曾把她拉到一边,为几年前一次发脾气而道歉。巴恩希尔说,当时她告诉女儿:“我记得自己对你发火,冲你大喊大叫。我很抱歉,亲爱的。”
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