“这,这可不行,怎么回事?找不到对象吗?”欢迎加入印度28岁左右女性面临的无休止的谈话。是的,28岁,未婚,这可是一桩大事,在他人眼里,你是个不折不扣的失败者,我可没开玩笑。我住在印度最大的大都市孟买,出生于一个典型的城市中产阶级家庭。我和许多年轻女性一样,搬出父母的家,过着独立的生活,追逐着自己的梦想。独自一人住在大城市是什么感觉?棒极了!我很独立,过着曾经梦想过的生活。印度的女性正获得改善自己、证明自己的价值和散发光芒的机会。在抗议性别歧视的阶梯上,我们每向上爬一步都得奋力斗争,但我们找到了出路,不断地前进。可是还有一种赖着不走的压力,一个和我们如影随形的问题:“打算什么时候结婚啊?”在印度,女孩的生活围绕着结婚展开。从小到大,我们接受到的观念是我们一定得找到门当户对的另一半,找个好婆家。甚至是在现在的印度,包办婚姻还是常态。父母给你找个般配的对象,安排好婚事。有时,新娘新郎都没发言权;有时他们只见过一、两次面。他们很少有时间认识彼此,无法自己做出决定。不管怎样,你是包办婚姻传统的一部分,你必须试着喜欢上某个人。
Everything we learn is taught to us bearing in mind our future role as a wife and daughter-in-law. We learn how to cook, how to do household chores, to behave ourselves and maintain the right image. The moment the "image" part gets problematic, our prospects of getting decent grooms are affected.If you look at any matrimonial website (a common trend in India these days) you will find the terms "family-oriented", "homely", "not too much into career" - these are the qualities in a bride people most often look for.Everyone wants a wife who will be a home-maker first and a career woman second. Every family wants a daughter-in-law who will respect elders, and give up on her career the moment other more important things like her husband's transfer, children, and other emergencies pop up.To be an ideal woman in a man's life, you must have the best education possible, a pretty face, and a sound career and yet be willing to put it all on the back burner.The reason I am single is quite simple - I have yet to come across my Mr Right.
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