Moral of the story?
Yes, you're still "great" and more than capable of living a happy, fulfilling life, whether or not you're involved with someone romantically. But also know that feeling waves of self-doubt and insecurity are totally normal. You may never want to get married or even be monogamous -- or you may be open to the possibility of meeting someone without actively looking for a relationship.
With barely half of US adults married as of 2011 (a record low, according to the Pew Research Center) and delayed marriage on the rise (the median age for women at first marriage in 2011 reached 27, a record high), the conversation about singles is shifting. Considering the ever-growing population of women living abundantly happy lives without a partner, how could it not?
"All of this 'matrimania' isn't happening because we're so secure about the place of marriage in our lives," said DePaulo. "It's happening because we're so insecure."
Of course, downplaying the special role that marriage plays in many people's lives isn't the answer, either. Rather, it's important to recognize that some people find happiness with a partner later in life or in a more unconventional form of coupledom.
According to Pew's 2010 stats, 84 percent of unmarried people cite "love" -- rather than "making a lifelong commitment," "companionship," "having children" or "financial stability" -- as the reason to get married. Perhaps women are starting to feel empowered to only jump into matrimony on their terms, rather than relying on perceived cultural norms. Take a look at Hannah Horvath on "Girls" or Liz Lemon on "30 Rock," and you'll see that pop culture is already helping to redefine what it means to be single in contemporary society.
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2020-09-15
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