Researchers did a 10 week study comparing couples that engaged in "pleasant" activities vs "exciting" activities. Pleasant lost.
Those who had undertaken the "exciting" date nights showed a significantly greater increase in marital satisfaction than the "pleasant" date night group…
Why would doing anything exciting have such a big effect on a relationship?
Because we're lousy about realizing where our feelings are coming from.
Excitement from any source will be associated with the person you're with, even if they're not the cause of it.
As happiness researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky explains, excitement experienced mutually brings the tingles back.
Whether the couples were only dating or long-married, the ones who did the shared novel activity were more likely than the ones who did the shared neutral activity to agree to statements like "I feel happy when I am doing something to make my partner happy" and "I feel 'tingling' and 'an increased heartbeat' when I think of my partner" after the activity than before.
So no boring, lame date nights. Go do something exciting. Go dancing together or anything else you can both participate in as a couple.
Sum up
Keeping love alive can be tricky. You need to actively work at it and it's more important to increase the good then to reduce the bad.
And the best way to do that is by increasing excitement.
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