有效倾听的一部分就是要尝试站在和你讲话的人的角度。无论你是否能完全设身处地,你的恻隐之心不会被忽略。“花些时间把自己摆在他人的角度,想想他们脑中所想以及由此而生的感受,”萨科讲道。
"Understanding what their experience is even before you talk to them [can help you connect with them]. And it sounds bad, but even if you blow it, you're still better off because the other person will see the attempt."
“甚至在和他们讲话前,就了解他们的感受。这点会帮助你和他们建立联系。虽然听起来糟糕,可即使尝试泡汤了,你仍有优势,因为另一个人会看到你的努力。”
They realize their shortcomings.
他们能意识到自己的缺点。
It may be a strange way of thinking about it, but accepting yourself is key to being a good listener overall, Sacco says. In other words, we can't pick up on everything everyone is saying all the time -- and that's OK. "I've definitely had my share of reflective listening failures," Sacco admits. "Sometimes... having that intentionality to listen and allowing yourself to miss the boat sometimes [is good enough]."
这样的考虑方式或许奇怪,但是总体来讲,接受自己是成为好的倾听者的关键,萨科讲道。换言之,我们无法接收每个人讲的每件事——这没关系。“我当然反思过自己倾听失败的时候,”萨科承认道。“有时…有意识地倾听,容许自己有时不得要领,这够好了。”
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