每个人都有自己的底线,它们会被特定的事物引爆。我可以确信地告诉你,那些你最讨厌的人,往往熟知你的底线在哪里。那么你呢?你知道吗?花点时间好好想想吧,找出那些容易让你暴躁的事物来。比如,是不是一旦有人谈论起政治、或金钱、或你的家庭,你就开始不爽?或者是不是一想起你的前任连着三天用麦当劳打发孩子,你就暴躁了?
Once you have your list of those trigger buttons, you are ready to arm yourself. Create a plan. What will you do when the conversation steers dangerously close to one of your buttons?
一旦熟知自己的底线,那你就变得无坚不摧。列一个应对计划——比如,当谈话开始渐渐转移到你最讨厌的东西上时,该怎么应对?
You can practice deep breathing, take a short time-out, walk away from the conversation, or any combination of the three. Whatever allows you to center yourself and regain your focus onthe purpose of the conversation will work.
你可以试着深呼吸、或出门散散步、或直接起身,远离这个话题;或者你可以把这三件事一块儿做了。无论怎么应对,只要能让你把注意力转移回自己身上、并巩固你对该谈话的控制权的方法,就是好方法。
2. The STOP Phrases
使用“停滞期”语句
If you are having a conversation with a difficult person and you just want it to end, these phrases seem to do the trick (or at least take the wind out of the other person’s sails).
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