If we take the time to figure out what unconscious beliefs may be behind someone’s difficult behavior, we may be able to change our interaction with them and improve our relationship. Once you figure out what may be driving their behavior, you can begin to try different ways to help them get their emotional needs met without resorting to that behavior any longer.
假如我们能花点时间,去搞清楚那些难以理解的举止背后是由什么潜意识支撑着的话,我们也许就能改变和这类人的关系。一旦搞定这一点,你就能巧妙地通过别的方式满足他们的情感需要,从而避免再度忍受他们不堪举止的折磨。
The main idea here is to tap into your empathypool and realize that the person you see as the bane of your existence is just another human being trying to get along as best they can.
这一招的主要目的是:激发你的同情和理解,让你明白——这些存在于你生命中的“祸害”,其实也不过是个尽力想好好生活的人类罢了。
A Final Thought
最后的想法
Yes, sometimes we have to disengage in order to save our sanity, but keep in mind that everybody is doing the best they can with the emotional tools they have at their disposal. It is possible to get past our reactions to their difficult behaviors so that we may be able to do our part in building a calmer, more productive relationship, and in the end, this is all we can truly control—our own reactions.
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