Also, it is apparent that the owners can gain mental satisfaction from their pets. In other words, a prosperous city with amenities provides the residents with advanced facilities and an environment in which the pets together with their owerns can enjoy life as well.
自我点评:按照作者的原意,自己也不知道在说些什么,只能把语言写的稍微顺一点。有时候碰到冷门的题目时,的确构思都比较难。大家要当心,越是碰到这种情况,越是要挑些容易发挥的内容写。像本篇作者就是在自找麻烦(我也跟着麻烦)。
To put all into a nutshell,there are so many benefits on petting animals.From what I have presented above, we can safely draw the conclusion that it is advisable to allow petting animals.
最后一段由于大量使用了套句,所以也没什么好说的了。基础上表达是没有问题的!!!
总的点评:很清楚地看到,作者除了使用套句的地方还像个样,其他地方由于受到语言功底的限制,内容空洞,错误较多。这是许多低分作文都有的毛病。在这里我还是要强调语言的正确性,它永远是写作第1个要关注的事情,语言差,作文一定得低分!语言好,内容平凡,照样能够得高分!!!
综合指数:5分。
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