②Mobiles, for instance, become permanent public intruders as people tend to speak at an increased volume and cause enormous disturbance to others.③Moreover,some addicts seem to be more prone to certain type of cancers and motorists may suffer a higher risk of collisions and losing control of the vehicle when driving and talking on the phone simultaneously.
语言点评:接下来从手机带来的负面影响入手,指出其所带来的噪音污染,引发癌症以及交通事故的潜在危险。 注意专有词汇: addicts,motorists, collisions ,public intruders以及短语be prone to sth, suffer a higher risk of sth 的使用。
④Plus, Internet becomes another thief who steals people of the time to perform leisure and recreational activities, making people become socially isolated and suffer serious loss of vision, back pain and obesity. ⑤In addition, the overwhelming amount of information on line deprives them of the ability of think creatively ,as the only thing they need to do is absorb what is available on line, thus stooping to become passive receivers rather than active thinkers. ⑥Some on-line games and TV shows may even contain pornographic or violent elements which distracts teenagers away from their study and become potential criminals of our society.
语言点评:再次利用层层推进的形式将常常被许多考生写过的因特网弊端一网打尽,讲得精讲得透才不至于落入俗套,同时在语言上采用的各种修辞格如:拟人Internet becomes another thief who steals people of ,押韵:passive receivers rather than active thinkers.排比使得考生的英文功底在考官面前如风吹草低见牛羊之姿态展开。
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