COMMENTARY
This outstanding response begins by announcing that the argument contains several facets that are questionable.
The author then develops the critique around three main points:
-- the reliability and generalizability of the survey results are open to question;
-- the argument assumes that a correlation amounts to a causal relationship; and
-- there are alternative explanations for the facts uncovered by the survey.
Each of these points is analyzed insightfully and in great detail.
The writer demonstrates mastery of the elements of effective writing.
The organization is clear and logical; in fact, the organizational plan outlined in the first paragraph is followed to the letter in the second through fourth paragraphs.
The writing is fluent -- transitions guide the reader from point to point in each paragraph; sentence structures are varied appropriately; diction is apt.
Minor flaws do not detract from the overall outstanding quality of this critique.
For all of these reasons, the essay earns a score of 6.
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