It might be, too- doubtless it was so, although she hid the secret from herself, and grew pale whenever it struggled out of her heart, like a serpentfrom its hole- it might be that another feeling kept her within the scene and pathway that had been so fatal. There dwelt, there trodethe feet of one with whom she deemed herself connected in a union, that, unrecognised on earth, would bring them together before the bar of final judgment, and make that their marriage-altar, for a joint futurityof endless retribution. Over and over again, the tempter of souls had thrust this idea upon Hester's contemplation, and laughed at the passionate and desperate joy with which she seized, and then strove to cast it from her. She barely looked the idea in the face, and hastened to bar it in its dungeon. What she compelled herself to believe- what, finally, she reasoned upon, as her motive for continuing a resident of New England- was half a truth, and half a self-delusion. Here, she said to herself, had been the scene of her guilt, and here should be the scene of her earthly punishment; and so, perchance, the torture of her daily shame would at length purgeher soul, and work out another purity than that which she had lost; more saint-like, because the result of martyrdom.
虽然她向自己隐藏着那个秘密,但只要那个秘密象蟒蛇出洞似的从她心中一钻出来,她就会面色苍白,这或许是——应该说无疑是,将她滞留在如此息息攸关的场地和小路上的另一种感情。在这场地上居住着一个人,在这里的小路上踏着他的脚步,虽说不为世人所认可,她却自信他俩已结成一体,井将共同来到末日审判的席位前凭栏而立,在那里举行神圣的婚礼,以共同承担未来的永无止期的报应。人类灵魂的诱惑者一再把这个念头塞进海丝特的脑海,还嘲笑着搜住她的情欲和狂喜,然后又竭力让她抛掉这一念头。她只能对这个念头匆匆一瞥,便又急忙将其闭锁在它的地窖里。终于,她分析出自己在新英格兰继续后留下来的动机,并且迫使自己去相信,其实只有一半是真情,另一半则是自欺。她对自己说,这里曾是她犯下罪孽的地方,这愿也应是她接受人问惩罚的地方;这样,或许她逐日受到的耻辱的折磨最终会荡涤她的灵魂,并产生出比她失去的那个还要神圣的另一个纯洁,因为这是她殉道的结果。
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