for each other. Della wore a waterfall of black hair,
模块6│ 题型探究 but her comb was broken. Jim had a gold watch with an old chain, which was passed from his old grandfather. The big day finally came. On arriving home, Jim was surprised to find Della’s long hair cut short. But Della was also surprised to find Jim’s gold watch gone.
模块6│ 题型探究 She had sold her hair to buy a gold watch chain for him! He had sold his gold watch to buy an expensive comb for her!
The gifts were now useless. But in fact they got the best gift. 模块6│ 题型探究
以约30个词概括这段短文的内容。
我们首先分析一下学生的样本, 看看存在什么问题, 如何改进。
【样本1】
This passage tells us a story about a couple. They sold the most valuable thing for themselves to buy a gift for each other. Even though the gifts were (became) useless, they (had) received the best gift(s) indeed.
模块6│ 题型探究
【样本2】
This story tells us that a husband Jim and a wife Della love each other. On Christmas, they send the best gift to each other, but each loses the dear thing. The gifts are useless.
模块6│ 题型探究 【评论点拨】
两个样本都表达了一些关键的词语(Della, Jim, love, gift等), 但是从“主题句统摄支撑句”的要求来看, 与记叙文的文体目的配合不够完美。记叙文要讲求故事的“教化”意义, 它的背后隐藏着“这个故事教育我们什么”的目的, 即是“故事情节+主题”的深层结构。 模块6│ 题型探究 我们写概括的时候, 主题句最好瞄准故事的深层写作目的, 然后支撑句写故事的大意。样本1的主题句没有样本2好。样本1比较空洞, 读者看不出故事的主题, 且有不少的语法错误;样本2没有点明礼物,说到了两个人之间的“love”。 但是样本1后面的支撑句Even though the gifts were (became) useless, they (had) received the best gift(s) indeed.说明了故事的情节和目的, 又比样本2好。因此, 两个样本差不多, 可以评3~4分(满分5分)。 模块6│ 题型探究 模块6│ 题型探究 记叙文的叙事结构在于多个“进展+评议”推进故事的情节发展。除了这个以外, 表达的繁与简也是一个非常重要的问题。这里的繁与简有两重意思:第一是内容描写的繁与简, 就是文字的多少;第二是句子结构的繁与简, 就是句子结构的复杂程度。 ? 探究点二
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