大多数人都曾在人际关系中受到过伤害。随着时间的推移,又考虑到伤痛的过往,我们都不敢冒险增强不同程度的伤痛感,变得很有防御性。
Fear of Intimacy 害怕亲近
The reality is most people can only tolerate a certain amount of closeness. We are defended about letting someone else in.
事实是大多数人只能容忍一定程度的亲密感。在让别人进入我们的生活这件事儿上,我们都有防御性。
Pickiness 挑剔
When viewing the world from critical or distrusting eyes, we tend to write off a range of potential partners before even giving them a chance.
当我们以批判的或不信任的眼光去看这个世界的时候,我们可能还没给人机会呢,就把人家淘汰了。
Low Self-Esteem 自卑
We all possess "critical inner voices" that tell us we are too fat, too ugly, too old or too different. When we listen to these "voices," we engage in behaviors that push people away.
我们都有“爱自我批判的内心声音”,它告诉我们自己太胖了、太丑了、年纪太大了、与别人太不同了。当我们听到这些声音的时候,就会把别人推开。
Fear of Competition 害怕竞争
When we see that someone else is interested in the person we like, we may be quick to back away. We may feel unwilling to compete, particularly as we get older, and we start to have self-attacks like "Your time has passed, you're too old for this."
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