她让我们去采访了一些曾结过婚或处于婚姻中的成年人,询问他们的婚姻状况,为何长久或为何以失败告终。最后,我问每一个人,爱是一种情感还是一种选择。
Everybody said that it was a choice. It was a conscious commitment. It was something you choose to make work every day with a person who has chosen the same thing.
每个人都说,爱是种选择。爱是一种有意识的承诺,是你选择和一个人日复一日坚持维系下去的一件事,而那个人也同样选择这么做。
They all said that at one point in their marriage, the "feeling of love" had vanished or faded and they weren't happy. They said feelings are always changing and you cannot build something that will last on such a shaky foundation.
他们都说,在自己婚姻中的某一刻,这种“爱的感觉”消失了,或褪色了,他们不再感到快乐。他们说,感觉一直在变,在这种摇摇欲坠的基础上,你建不起来什么长久的东西。
The married ones said that when things were bad, they chose to open the communication, chose to identify what broke and how to fix it, and chose to recreate something worth falling in love with.
还在一起的人说当情况不妙时,他们会选择沟通,去搞清楚到底哪里出问题了,要怎么修复。他们会选择重新创造一些事情,值得双方去投入感情。
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