做饭好心累，不如点外卖。下面这些“不会做饭星人”的心声，说的就是你本人。

For some people, the prospect of placing a raw protein or vegetable in a pan over an open flame for an extended period of time is so daunting that it literally makes them flop sweat. These people subsist on cereal and frozen dinners, they know their local food delivery workers by name, and they may or may not use their oven for shoe storage.

有些人就是单单把蛋白质原料或者蔬菜放到平底锅上，开火烹饪一会儿就能吓得他们汗流浃背。这种人啊，一般就靠谷物麦片和速冻晚餐过活，他们认识当地的外卖小哥，知道人家的名字，他们甚至还可能把烤箱用来存放鞋子。

Here are some jokes for all the folks out there who would rather eat sandwiches into infinity than attempt to boil, bake, roast or braise a single food item. Because, in the paraphrased words of Maria Bamford, “People always talk about how easy cooking is … but it is not as easy as not cooking.”

下面描述的这些囧样儿讲的就是那些宁愿吃三明治吃到地老天荒也不愿意煮东西、烘焙食物、烤或者炖任何一种食材的人。因为，Maria Bamford就说过：“人们总说做菜很简单……但是总归没有不做菜简单。”

✰ You know that your future partner needs to be able to cook or else your children will starve.

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