When it comes to speaking up, it's crucial to recognize that it won't necessarily feel easy to do.
说到说话,关键是要认识到这并不一定是一件容易的事。
Second, work to lessen the social threat that speaking up creates.
第二,努力减少直言不讳所造成的社会威胁。
Social motivation comes in five flavors: status, certainty, autonomy, relatedness, and fairness. While there are individual and cultural differences in degree and expression of each domain, everybody needs a sense of esteem within a group, confidence about their experience of life, freedom of choice, social bonds, and reciprocity. Together they form the common currency of interpersonal interaction: the rewards and threats we face when dealing with other people.
社会动机有五种:地位、确定性、自主性、关联性和公平性。虽然每个领域的程度和表达方式都有个体和文化差异,但每个人都需要在一个群体内有一种尊重感,对自己的生活经历有信心,对选择的自由、社会纽带和互惠感都有信心。它们共同构成了人际交往的共同货币:我们在与他人打交道时所面临的奖励和威胁。
When you're speaking up to someone, any one of these five buttons might be pushed, but most commonly it's status, especially when you're communicating up the chain of command. So you need to make it clear that you're not out to get anyone, nor are you necessarily attributing ill will to the person or people you might be speaking about. Show that you are providing feedback on impact, without making any assumptions about intent. For example: "You may not have meant to offend, but here is how I experienced that joke.” You can also dial up the relatedness: "I'm on your side and bringing this up because I care.” And for people who value certainty, you should make your goals abundantly clear at the start of the conversation. The better you know a person, the better you can tailor your approach.
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