But coaches say that likability can be taught. 'Likability isn't something you are born with, like charisma. It's something you can learn, ' says Ben Decker, chief executive officer of Decker Communications, San Francisco, a training and consulting firm.
不过,培训师称讨人喜欢的能力是可以教授的。旧金山培训与咨询公司Decker Communications的首席执行长本·戴克尔(Ben Decker)说:“讨人喜欢的能力并非天生的品质,就像感召力一样。它是你能学会的东西。”
The 'big three' behaviors most important to a speaker's likability are making eye contact by looking into the camera, smiling naturally when you talk and varying your tone of voice to convey warmth and enthusiasm, Mr. Decker says. To show the importance of nonverbal cues, he has clients role-play on video the first few minutes of an imaginary conversation with a client -- then watch themselves with the sound off.
戴克尔指出,讲话者若要讨人喜欢,最重要的“三大”举动是要看着摄像头进行眼神交流,在讲话时自然地微笑以及变化语调来表达亲切感与热情。为了展现非言语信号的重要性,戴克尔让培训学员在视频中进行角色扮演,假装正与客户展开头几分钟的谈话——然后关掉声音让他们观看自己在视频中的表现。
Mr. Decker also urges clients to 'really think about the listener' and figure out goals he or she might share with you. The ability to find common ground with others is a cornerstone of likability.
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