她说:“对于我辅导的大多数女性,要么她们的父母都在想办法以或明或暗的方式给她们施压,要么有的父母不会问问题,可能是因为他们觉得这跟自己无关。”她说,有些女性会推断自己的父母对抱孙子不在乎,或者不相信她们能做好母亲。
Her advice to grandparents-in-waiting: Go ahead and ask your adult children questions, like 'Do you want children?' and 'What is your expected timetable?' But don't push your own agenda. 'A lot of parents are pretty blunt. They say things like, 'I am getting older. When is this going to happen? I want to be able to enjoy those grandkids,'' Ms. Johnson says. But to adult children, she adds, that can feel like their parents are saying, ''I'm going to die soon, and this is my dying wish.' It becomes a huge source of pressure.'
她给等着抱孙子的老人的建议是:大胆地向儿女提出问题,比如“你们想要孩子吗?”以及“你们预计的时间表是什么时候?”但是不要把自己的想法强加给他们。约翰逊说:“很多老人都相当直接。他们会说,‘我年纪大了。什么时候才能抱上孙子呢?我希望能享受和孙子们在一起的时光。’”她说,“但是对于儿女们来说,他们会觉得父母是在说,‘我快不久于人世了,这是我的临终遗愿。’。这样会给儿女带来巨大压力。”
Georgia Witkin, a psychologist at RMA of New York LLP, a fertility clinic in New York, recommends that wannabe grandparents find other outlets for their frustrations. To that end, Mary Jane Horton -- the 62-year-old writer -- serves as a court-appointed advocate for a foster child, age 12.
【逼婚不止中国有 美国老人也盼着抱孙子】相关文章:
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