当人遭到拒绝时,他们的期待值就会降低,而当他们被其他人包围时,期待值就会升高。如果你遇到的每个人都想和你配成一对儿,你大概再不会将魅力值低于十的人放在眼里了。
But for everyone else, you're forced to guess and gamble. And the clue to your attractiveness is how needy other people act around you.
但是除了这种人之外,其他人都不得不通过猜测和试探来了解自己的魅力值。猜测的线索就是其他人在你面前的反应。
Conversely, if someone is aloof with their affections, they probably think they can do better. They may also be wrong, but in both cases we're wired to interpret this as feedback on our own attractiveness. You’re trying to guess the number on your head, and their feedback is all you have.
相反的,如果有人因自己的魅力值而孤芳自赏,他们很可能会提高自己的配对要求。也许他们对自己的魅力值估计错误,但无论如何,我们都会把他们在自己面前的反应理解成是对我们自身的魅力值的反馈。你努力想猜出自己额头上的数字,而他们的反应是你仅有的线索。
You can't help being influenced by this, and it's one reason why 'playing it cool' is such an attractive trait, even if it's such an easily contrived one. Being needy essentially says 'you're so much better than me, please pick me'. Not a great sales pitch.
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