The first step to finding your presence is self-assessment, experts say. Make a list of your strengths and weakness. Then solicit feedback. Ask your spouse, boss, co-workers and even your followers which words come to mind when they think of you. Give these people permission to be totally honest and to be specific.

专家们表示，找到自己风度的第一步是自我评估。首先列出你的优势和劣势，然后征求周围人的反馈意见。询问你的配偶、上司、同事甚至“粉丝”，他们想到你的时候会首先想到哪些词语。允许他们给出完全诚实和具体的回答。

Don't try to be someone you aren't. If, in the 1-to-10 zone of expressiveness, you are naturally a 3 or a 4, don't suddenly try to be an 8 or 9. Still, introverts, defined as people who get their energy from turning inward, can learn something from extroverts, who get their energy from others, says Peggy Klaus, a Berkeley, Calif., executive coach. Watch for the specific things an extrovert does well, like schmoozing at a cocktail party. Think of them as behaviors or skills that can be learned and applied, not as personality changes.

不要试图装扮成一个与你自己本性不一样的人。假如按照1-10的打分划定每个人的表现力，而你的分数是3分或4分，那就不要突然试图装成8分、9分的那种人。不过，加州伯克利的高管培训师克劳斯(Peggy Klaus)说，性格内向者（从自己的内心世界获得能量的人）也能从外向者（从与他人的交流中获得能量的人）学到些东西。观察外向者擅长的具体事务，比如说在一个鸡尾酒派对上与人聊天。把这些想成可以学习并且运用的行为或技能，而不是性格的改变。

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