5. Give it a minute.
5. 学会搁置他人的怒火。
Whenever anybody phones you angry, give it as much time as you reasonably can before you return the call. Think about when you're the person who is angry: You fire off something in an email or there's a phone call. And then an hour or two passes, and you're like, "All right, it wasn't that big of a deal." Or something will happen in the interim to bring it down. I can tell you, I've saved myself so many times by doing that.
如果有人在电话里跟你发火,你要给他们时间冷静一下再回电话。试想,当你正在气头上,你是会选择写邮件发火还是直接打电话。也许过一两个小时之后,就会想,”好吧,也没什么大不了的。”或是事情又发生了其他什么变化。通常,这种办法我屡试不爽。
6. Keep the focus on you.
6. 时刻关注自己。
Whether it's a work confrontation or a breakup, you may spend weeks obsessing about the other guy. Did I screw that up? Did I say the wrong thing? Am I what he wants? But you're focusing on the wrong person. It's not whether he likes you, it's whether you like him. It's about whether he did the right thing toward you. All the energy we put into contentious relationships, if you funnel all that energy back into yourself, everything works out. You become a more interesting person, you attract the right people into your life, and life gets better for you.
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★ 中国哲学的起源
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