迹象一是害怕表现出情感。对于内心深处极度缺乏安全感的自恋者而言,人际交往是个可怖的问题。自恋狂想象他们自给自足游刃有余、可以对他人的情感无动于衷,以此来增强自信。迹象二是打烫手情感山芋牌。自恋者规避自身不详的感觉,并把这种感受传递给他人,迫使你去体验他们最初就想无视的情感体验。
Next is Exerting Stealth Control. Narcissists feel uneasy about asking for help. Much easier is to remain in charge, make all the decisions and impose them on others as faits accomplis. Fourth is Placing People On Pedestals. For narcissists the logic goes like this: if someone this special wants me, I must be pretty special, too. Watch out for the sycophants at work, or the boyfriend who says you're perfect and that he loves you before he's even got to know you.
再者就是秘密行为控制。让自恋者求助会致使其不安,对他们而言,保持万事自尽在掌握、一切自己做定夺,给别人施以运筹帷幄的感觉会让他们好受些。迹象四是把别人推上神坛。自恋者的逻辑是这样的:如果特别的人喜欢我,那么我必定也很特别。留心职场溜须拍马的人,当心那种还不了解你就口口声声表示爱你、说你很完美的男朋友。
Finally, there's Fantasising You're Twins. You know those couples who tell you they're alike in every way and that it's like looking in the mirror? Moderate narcissists, says Dr Malkin, can be 'turned' with care and attention. For extreme narcissists, however, there's not usually any way back. It's a pathological condition - the damage runs too deep.
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