"My boyfriend's mom doesn't understand that just because I'm the same age as her kids, I am not her kid," says Vanessa, a Miami-based yoga instructor. "She has very strong opinions, and unfortunately she cannot keep them to herself. She has no problem making comments about my finances, my struggles with mental health, or what I'm eating. She'll make fun of me if I turn down a drink, saying I'm obsessed with being thin, when really it's because alcohol messes with my antidepressants! I find it so intrusive and out of line."
"我男朋友的妈妈并不理解这一点:仅仅因为我和她的孩子同龄,并不意味着我就是她的孩子呀,"迈阿密的瑜伽教练瓦内莎说道。"她固执已见,但不幸的是,她无法将这些想法藏在心底。她总是评论我的财务状况、我与精神健康的斗争或者我在吃什么。如果我拒绝饮酒,她便取笑我,说我痴迷于变瘦,但实际情况确是酒精会干扰我的抗抑郁药药效!我觉得这一点十分冒犯我,太过线了。"
Vanessa isn't the only one with a less-than-perfect relationship with her significant other's family. Julie, a physical therapist in California, has run into cultural differences with her fiancé's relatives. "On the one hand, they are very caring and generous people. On the other hand, they come from a very different, very traditional religious background, so their worldviews, perspectives, and opinions differ from mine," she says. "Because I see them infrequently, I haven't made it a priority to speak up. I normally retreat and act polite, and don't express myself like I would if I were with friends or my own family, which probably prevents us from being truly close."
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