Sarah, a 36-year-old solicitor, was shocked when her three-year-old daughter called out her nanny’s name during the night. “You think: ‘My child loves the nanny more than me.’”
当36岁的律师莎拉(Sarah)夜里听到3岁的女儿喊保姆的名字时,她震惊了。“你心想:‘我的孩子爱保姆胜过爱我。’”
On the other hand, the overwhelming anxiety Sarah felt when her daughter was ill left her relieved to hand over responsibility. She soon realised that she was never going to love caring for her children round the clock. She explains: “I wouldn’t say that I looked forward to going back to work, but I looked forward to having an activity that involved being away from them.”
但另一方面,女儿生病时莎拉感到的极度焦虑,让她如释重负地交出责任。她很快意识到,自己永远不会喜欢全天候照顾自己的小孩。她解释说:“我不会说我期待回去上班,但我确实期待有什么事能让我离开他们。”
Sarah hoped that by providing her with affection and a routine, her daughter would not suffer the sense of “I don’t matter” that she says her own mother had instilled in her.
莎拉说,当年她的母亲给她灌输了一种“我不重要”的感觉,她希望通过提供关爱和有规律的日常生活,她的女儿不会受这种感觉的折磨。
According to psychotherapists, Sarah was right to be concerned about unintentionally repeating a pattern of neglectful parenting. Infants and young children need sensitive care from adults — a process called “attachment”.
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