So, yes, maybe I have lost a step. But some things are beyond my control. For example, this whole controversy about Jaz-Z going to Cuba -- it's unbelievable. I've got 99 problems and now Jay-Z is one. (Laughter and applause.) That's another rap reference, Bill. (Laughter.) I'll let you know. (Applause.)
Of course, everybody has got plenty of advice. Maureen Dowd said I could solve all my problems if I were just more like Michael Douglas in “The American President。” (Laughter.) And I know Michael is here tonight. Michael, what's your secret, man? (Laughter.) Could it be that you were an actor in an Aaron Sorkin liberal fantasy? (Laughter.) Might that have something to do with it? (Applause.) I don't know. Check in with me. Maybe it's something else. (Laughter.)
Anyway, I recognize that this job can take a toll on you. I understand -- second term, you need a burst of new energy, try some new things. And my team and I talked about it. We were willing to try anything. So we borrowed one of Michelle's tricks. (Laughter and applause.) I thought this looked pretty good, but no bounce. (Laughter.)
I want to give a shout-out to our headliner, Conan O'Brien. (Applause.) I was just talking to Ed, and I understand that when the Correspondents' Association was considering Conan for this gig, they were faced with that age-old dilemma: Do you offer it to him now, or wait for five years and then give it to Jimmy Fallon? (Laughter.) That was a little harsh. (Laughter.) I love Conan。
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