“其他人可能会表现得可靠,但大多数时候那是一种行为。如何表明帮助别人能感到舒适呢?作为一个养育着,你不必担心别人如何看待你。”
Clawson is right — research suggests that we're generally pretty bad at guessing how much others are struggling. Think about what you can do to make their lives easier, and you may find that your personal concerns are less salient.
Clawson是对的。研究表明,我们通常很不擅长推测别人的奋斗情况。想想你做什么能让他们的生活更容易一些,你可能会发现你的个人担忧不是很突出。
5. Focus on controlling your thoughts, not theirs
5. 集中精力控制你自己的思想,而不是其他人的
Gennaro Cuofano points out that you don't have control over others' thoughts: "Therefore if you spend even one minute of mental energy focusing on what others think of you, you are wasting time and energies."
Gennaro Cuofano指出,你不必控制别人的思想:“因此,如果你花费了乃至一分钟的脑力去担心别人如何看待你,你就是在浪费时间和精力。”
Instead, he suggests trying to manage your own thoughts about the situation.
相反,他建议尽量控制自己对于不同情况的想法。
Meanwhile, psychotherapist Amy Morin writes that mentally strong people rarely focus on things they can't control. Once you shift you focus away from those things, you'll likely be happier and less stressed.
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