Asking someone to help you out can be ridiculously stressful.

向别人寻求帮助时可能压力山大.

What if they feel like you're bothering them? Or using them? What if they say no, or worse, don't even bother responding?

我是不是很烦人?会不会觉得我在利用他的好意?会不会被拒,甚至连鸟都不鸟我?

Those are all real possibilities (sorry). But you can increase the likelihood of getting the help you need and having the other person feel good about it by deploying what psychologists call the "rule for reciprocation."

这种担心也不是多余的(抱歉哈)。但总有两全其美的做法，让你更有可能得到帮助，帮你的人也乐在其中：心理学家称其为“交互作用法”。

In his new book "Pre-Suasion," the psychologist Robert Cialdini defines the rule: "People say yes to those they owe." In other words, if you want someone's assistance, do something useful for them first.

心理学家Robert Cialdini在新书《提前的“说服”》中为此原理下了定义“因为拿人手短，所以无法拒绝。”换句话说就是，若要人帮你，你要先帮人。

Cialdini is careful to note that the rule doesn't always work — after all, you could catch someone on a particularly bad day. But generally, it does.

Cialdini特别提醒到这条原理并不是对谁都好用——毕竟事事有万一。但是总体而言，这法则还是极好用的。

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