For many of us, the emotions holding the tightest grip on our hearts are disappointment, resentment, blame and anger. They place a stranglehold on our happiness, and the only person who can release them is you.
对我们很多人来说,严密控制着我们心灵的情绪是失望、不满、指责和愤怒。它们把持着我们的幸福,唯一可以释放它们的人是你自己。
Here are four steps to help you forgive.
这里有四步来帮助你宽恕他人。
1. Understand why someone acts the way they do. Perhaps the most important tool and first step in forgiveness is to understand "why" someone acts the way they do. Take your parents, for example. It's helpful to go back and objectively look at their early childhood. Imagine what their childhood, parents and home environment was like. What do you know? What have you heard? What can you infer? Do some basic sleuthing to uncover or imagine why a person (partner, colleague, parent) may have certain defense mechanisms (narcissism, defensiveness, aggression, depression, etc.) or personality traits.
1.理解为什么有些人会这样行为。也许最重要的工具以及宽恕的第一步是了解“为什么”有人会这样行为。以你的父母为例。回顾和客观地看待他们的童年早期是有用的。想象一下他们童年、父母和家庭环境的样子。你知道些什么?你听说了什么?你能推断出什么?做一些基本的侦查去发现或想象为什么一个人(合作伙伴、同事、家长)可能有一定的防御机制(自恋、防御、攻击、抑郁等)或个性特征。
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