The internet is brimming with money tips for newlyweds — open a joint account, talk about your money values, budget for date night. While sound advice, these articles ignore a simple truth: your money relationship doesn’t begin when you walk down the aisle. It starts on your very first date.
互联网为新婚夫妇提供了许多理财技巧——开设联名账户,沟通理财价值观,为约会之夜制定预算。这些都是有益的忠告,不过这些文章忽略了一条简单的真理:你和配偶之间的金钱关系并非始于步入婚姻殿堂之时,而是从第一次约会就开始了。
Rather than discussing finances in romantic relationships, we tend to quickly and quietly adapt to our beliefs about how the other person wants to deal with the issue. So if Mr. Wonderful pays on dates one and two, his dinner partner may assume he is happy to pay on dates three, four and 50. But that often leads to frustration from at least one party. Maybe, like most millennials, Mr. Wonderful can’t really afford to treat every time. Perhaps his date feels guilty for not contributing financially.
与其在恋爱中谈钱,我们更倾向于迅速地悄悄去适应另一半在这件事情上的看法。因此,如果说好人君(Mr. Wonderful)头一两次约会都主动掏钱,那他的约会对象可能就会觉得第三回、第四回甚至是第50回也都该由他买单。但这通常会至少让其中一方感到沮丧失落。或许,像大多数千禧一代,好人君实际上无法每次都请客。也许他的约会对象会因为在财务上没有做出贡献而感到内疚。
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