Like our dating lives, a person’s relationship to money cannot be boiled down to a single statistic. Maybe wait a few dates to bring up nitty gritty details like credit scores and 401k balances. Instead Levinson says you should see if the relationship “has legs” and keep an eye out for “patterns.” Does one partner always pay? Are you are being overly generous, while your partner is being tightfisted? How does that make you feel?
跟约会那样,人与金钱的关系不能简单归结为一个数字。也许等约会过几次,再打听彼此的信用评分以及401K退休金户头余额等这些具体细节吧。莱文森表示,重点要看这段恋爱关系是否“能长久”,密切注意“交往模式”。是否总是一方在付钱?你是否过于慷慨,而约会对象特别抠门?这让你有什么感觉?
If you are unhappy with your money exchanges, Levinson recommends approaching the topic in the same way you might the dirty socks your girlfriend leaves around. ‘You always leave your socks on the floor and that’s irritating to me. Why don’t you put them in the hamper?’ is not so different from saying, ‘You never let me pay for dinner and that’s irritating to me. What is that about for you?’ Don’t criticize, but instead try to come to a mutual understanding of why you each behave the way you do.
如果你对你们的金钱往来不满意,莱文森建议,解决这个问题可以仿效处理女朋友乱扔脏袜子的做法。“你总是把袜子扔在地板上,这让我很恼火。为什么不把袜子放在洗衣篮里?”其实这样说没有多大不同:“你总是不让我请你吃晚餐,这让我很恼火。这是怎么回事?”不要批评对方,而是尝试相互理解,为什么你们各自会有这种行为。
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