While researching her book, Bloom came across people who made matters worse by giving “I’m sorry” gifts inappropriate for the workplace, like one well-meaning boss who gave his assistant a bouquet of flowers. The admin “saw that as both sexist and too personal a gesture,” Bloom observes. “The wrong kind of apology can be more offensive than the original mistake.”
为她的书做调查时,布鲁姆发现,许多人犯了错误后,赠送并不适合工作场所的“道歉”礼物,例如一位好心的上司送给助理一束鲜花,但行政部门认为“这是性别歧视,而且是太私人化的情感表示。这种错误的道歉方式可能比原先的错误更令人反感。”
So, what should you say to your frosty boss? By Bloom’s lights, every effective mea culpa has six essential features. The first one is sincerity, which your question suggests you’ve got covered. Most people can spot a phony apology from a mile away, so “you have to genuinely regret what you did, and say it unequivocally,” says Bloom. “Start with ‘I am sorry.’”
那么,你该对冷漠的上司说些什么?在布鲁姆看来,每一次有效的道歉都有六个基本特点。首先是真诚,从你的提问来看,这一点你已经具备。大多数人从一英里外就能看出虚情假意的道歉,所以“你必须对自己做过的事情真心感到后悔,并且要毫不含糊地说出来,”布鲁姆说道,“从‘对不起’开始。”
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