但年纪大了,我就不愿意费力去改变别人。付出大代价之后,我现在已经明白,你一开始看到一个人是什么样,他/她就永远是什么样。大多数人都能接受一些行为习惯的矫正。但这几十年听人们抱怨自己的婚姻或爱人,我听到永远是一样的内容。
I have come to realize that there is comfort in the predictability, even the ritualization, of relationship problems. They become a dance step; each partner can twirl through familiar moves, and do-si-do until the music stops.
我开始意识到,人际关系中的可预见性,甚至仪式化的东西,也会让人觉得舒服。它们变成了一种舞步,每个伴侣都以熟悉的动作舞蹈,绕步换位,直到音乐停止。
Toxic people? Sour, spoiled people? I’m simply walking away; I have little fight left in me. It’s easier all around to accept that friendships have ebbs and flows, and indeed, there’s something quite beautiful about the organic nature of love.
碰上毒舌、脾气不好和骄纵的人怎么办?直接走开,我已经没什么跟人斗的劲头了。接受友情有起有落这一点会好过很多,而且爱的有机本质也的确有它动人的地方。
I used to think that one didn’t make friends as one got older, but I’ve learned that the opposite happens. Sometimes, unaccountably, a new person walks into your life, and you find you are never too old to love again. And again. (See resilience.)
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