What are some things that psychologists know, but most people don't?
有哪些事心理学家知道但大多数人不知道?
获得371.8k好评的回答@Kevin Luo:
On those rare days that you’re running late for something due to a legitimate reason, it’s better to genuinely praise the other person for their patience than to apologize for your tardiness.
你偶尔由于正当理由迟到时,最好真诚地称赞对方的耐心,而不是为自己的迟到道歉。
The problem with apologizing is that, by attributing the negative feelings and associations of “sorriness” to yourself, you have now shifted all the negative spotlight onto you. Your boss is more likely to be psychologically programmed to think “Yeah, you better be sorry for being late! You made me wait 5 minutes - who do you think you are? You’re a terrible employee who doesn’t respect my time.”
道歉的问题在于会把消极的感觉和“抱歉”的联想都揽到自己身上,使所有消极的矛头都指向自己。老板的心理活动更有可能是“对,你最好为迟到感到抱歉,你让我等了5分钟,你以为自己是谁呀?你这个员工真差劲,不尊重我的时间。”
The benefit of praising is that, by showering your boss with positive praise on his or her patience, your boss is more inclined to think positively of him or herself, rather than think negatively of you. He or she will think to themself “Yeah, I am a patient person, aren’t I? In fact, it’s one of my proudest traits as a good boss and an understanding person - after all, it’s good to show my employees that I’m a patient individual.”
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