So why do we change so much? Evidence suggests it's not dramatic life events, such as marriage, the birth of a child or loss of a loved one. Some psychologists actually suggest these events reinforce your personality as you bring your characteristics with you to that particular situation, Donnellan said.
那么为什么我们会改变这么多?证据显示,我们的个性改变不是因为人生大事,比如结婚、孩子出生或失去所爱之人。唐纳伦称,一些心理学家指出实际上这些大事会强化你的个性,因为你会将自己的个性带入到那个特别的情境中。
Instead, changing expectations placed on us — as we adjust to university, the work force, starting a family — slowly wears us in, almost like a pair of shoes, Roberts said. "Over time you are asked in many contexts across life to do things a bit differently," he said. "There's not a user manual for how to act, but there's very clear implicit norms for how we should behave in these situations." So we adapt."
罗伯茨指出,在我们适应大学、职场和成家时,外界对我们期望值的改变在慢慢地打磨我们,就像一双鞋一样。他说:“随着时间过去,人生中的许多情境都会要求你用和以前不一样的方式去做事。没有用户手册来指导你如何行动,但是有非常清晰的不成文规范告诉你在这些情况下应该如何表现。于是我们就改变自己去适应。”
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