1. Capitalize on Positive Events
从积极的事情中受益
Ask a friend, partner, colleague, or acquaintance to tell you about something good that happened to them that day. It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as they enjoyed it. While they are sharing the event, actively listen — that means really listen and be engaged by making eye contact, smiling, asking open-ended questions, and making positive comments. You will be amazed at how natural this feels once you get into the moment. Notice how your encouragement is increasing the other person’s positivity by making them feel cared about — it feels good, right? Not only that, but talking about the event together is also a positive experience which will enhance your relationship. Research has shown that romantic partners who responded to each other’s news of positive events in this active-constructive style reported greater relationship wellbeing and were less likely to break up two months later.
让你的朋友、同伴、同事或是熟人给你讲讲那天发生在他们身上的好事情。什么事并不重要,只要他们享受它就行。当他们分享这些事情时,积极地去倾听—这意味着真的去听,通过眼神交流、微笑、问开放性问题以及提出积极的意见来参与其中。一旦你进入其中,你就会惊讶于这会感觉起来多么的自然。注意到你的参与方式会让他们感觉被关心,从而增加他们的积极性——这感觉很好,是吧?不仅如此,一起谈论这些事也是一种积极的体验,会增强你们的关系。研究表明那些对对方积极消息以这种积极建设性风格做出回应的恋人有着更好的幸福关系,更不容易在2个月之后破裂。
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