她对《赫芬顿邮报》说:“没有什么事是非黑即白的,所以对伴侣说她从来没有准时过或他总是很自私,并不好。这些话只会导致你们不断来回指责和辩解,这并不是你在婚姻里想要的。”
2. “You sound exactly like your mother.”
“你和你妈说话一模一样。”
When arguing, stick to the issue at hand and keep the focus on the two of you. Introducing nasty comparisons to your in-laws is unfair and ultimately a diversion from your problems, said Sharon Gilchrest O'Neill, a marriage and family therapist and the author of A Short Guide to a Happy Marriage.
婚姻与家庭咨询师、《幸福婚姻指南》的作者莎伦·吉尔克里斯特·奥尼尔说,吵架的时候,要专注于眼前问题,把焦点放在你们两个人身上。把对方父母牵扯进来进行比较的做法非常可恶,不公平,最终也偏离了你们本身的问题。
“Mentioning parents can easily become mean-spirited attacks that interfere with the couple's ability to address the underlying issues,” she told HuffPost.
她对《赫芬顿邮报》说:“提及父母就很有可能变成刻薄的攻击,影响双方解决眼前问题的能力。”
3. “You think you're better than everyone else!”
“你是不是觉得自己很了不起!”
Never put words in your partner's mouth or in this case, thoughts in their head. There's no way of knowing what someone is feeling or thinking, so keep the assumptions to yourself, said Becky Whetstone, a marriage and family therapist in Little Rock, Arkansas.
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