“There is no right or wrong way for someone to feel,” she said. “Feelings are what they are; try to understand your partner and be curious about his experience rather than dismissing what you don't understand.”
她说:“一个人怎么想没有对错,感觉就是感觉,不可捉摸;要试着去理解你的伴侣,问下他怎么得来这样的体验,而不是否认你不理解的事”。
10. “Don't wait up for me.”
“不用等我了。”
This seemingly innocent remark suggests you're not going to bed at the same time, a habit that can be damaging to your relationship, said Wahlgast.
沃尔葛斯特说,这个看起来没什么问题的言论表明你们不打算在同一时间睡觉,这个习惯会破坏你们的关系。
“You should view shared bedtime as a way to strengthen your connection with your partner — it's a powerful form of physical intimacy, with or without sex,” she said. “Saying OK to separate bedtimes enables behaviors that destroy intimacy, such as solitary porn-watching and flirty messaging with friends or co-workers.”
“你应该把相同的睡觉时间视作与伴侣加强关系的一种方式——对维持肌肤亲密非常有效,与性无关,”她说。“同意有不同的睡觉时间,容易产生破坏亲密关系的行为,比如独自看色情片,或与朋友、同事发暧昧短信。”
Vocabulary
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